She flies with the Angels Now

January 25th at 9:10am my dear sweet mother Maxine Suzanne Smith was pronounced dead. My father called me and told me at (5:25am(Alaska time)) It has to have been the saddest day of my life. I never truly thought i would have to say goodbye to the one person that has been my rock and my comfort for so many years. I can remember growing up and asking my mom if she would ever go bye bye and she promised me she wouldn't. On my entry into basic training she looked at me with those eyes of pure pride in my and I never thought i could live up to that. When i graduated and came home with time to spare and announce that i was being shipped to Iraq i watched tears of resentment roll down her face and she wished i had gone to college instead. But still she told me that i was her greatest accomplishment. When i came home on RnR she was so very happy to see me and i spent 2 whole weeks in her arms. This is where i learned that she had beat cancer. It was the hardest time. I promised her that it would be ok and that i would be home soon. When i came home from Iraq, i drove all night to surprised her and when i arrived at her door, she was angry i had not told her i was coming so she could do her makeup. LOL My mom was such a perfectionist. She still opened her arms and cried that i was finally home. I told her that i had fallen in love and not only was i going to active duty but that i was moving across country to be with this man! She was happy but sad to see her little was growing up and leaving the nest. In the next year i called my mom EVERY SINGLE DAY. I called her one afternoon and asked her if she was sitting and her words to me were "you are pregnant aren't  you Jessica Anne' i returned with a solom 'yes ma'am' and then after a silence 'and he asked me to marry him'! I had never heard my mom so very excited. She came to see the birth of her grandson and welcomed ever cherished moment. When i called yet again with the same news that i was pregnant again she told me that "this time you will have you a girl' I laughed and hoped she was right and of course she was. My father and her decided that she wasn't a Maddison she was a Shylah. When i received the call in November with "You need to come home sis, mom isn't going to make it" I broke down in tears, called my husband and began to pack. We came home and she held both of my kids, and gleamed at the sight of her granddaughter looking identical to her.  Shortly after that i had to say my final goodbyes as i knew that the Army probably wasn't going to send me home again. I told her that i loved her and i would never forget her or the values she had taught me and that if i could be half the mom she was to me then i would be a wonderful mom. With that she told me that she loved me unconditionally and to never forget it. I love you momma, What will be, will be! Everything happens for a reason, we all have a purpose. And my favorite, "You can never discover new oceans until you have the courage to loose site of the shore!